This AM I’m introducing a new series called “Do It Yourself” (DIY). In this series the plan is to write about things I have learned, areas of self improvement, gaining perspective and probably a few other things that make for a better person- personally and professionally. DIY is about topics I’ve benefitted from through the years. Some have been great struggles and some have been painful lessons about life.
In Part 1 of Do It Yourself, I want to look at the topic of confidence. In this post I’ll define confidence and we’ll think about what it means to be a confident person. Part 2 will cover what Confidence is not- there are a lot of misconceptions and false ideas out there about what it means to be a confident person. We’ll tackle those in Part 2. Part 3 will focus on practical habits that develop confidence.
Okay, that’s enough table setting. Let’s get after it!
Picture this situation:
- Your boss asks you to present to the leadership team on a new topic.
- You find yourself interacting with a room full of people you don’t know.
- You must make a difficult decision and don’t know what to do.
- A close friend asks your opinion of how to handle a tricky relationship.
- You feel social pressure to think or act a certain way, but don’t agree with it.
- You are competing in an athletic competition and want to do well.
How do you respond to these situations? What do you do? While I don’t have the specific answer as to how to handle these situations, I can identify one personal quality will help you if you find yourself in one of these situations.
Confidence.
While confidence doesn’t make any of these situations easier, and confidence isn’t an answer, confidence is important when we face these situations. In fact, confidence can make a big difference in how we tackle these situations. If you doubt me, think about it in reverse- what will a lack of confidence do for us in these situations? The truth is, a lack of confidence can undermine and even destroy our ability to properly handle these situations.
I think back to high school sports and competing in large track meets, with crowded stands and talented athletes trying to win the event. I remember it clearly, like it was yesterday. Looking at a high jump bar set impossibly high- higher than my own height. I remember thinking, “Don’t think about how high the bar is, think about jumping right. Concentrate on your form and you’ll clear it.”
And many times I did. And as I succeeded, my confidence grew. Confidence begins on the inside.
Pressure to succeed. Pressure to do well. Pressure to fit in. Pressure to do the right thing. We all feel these pressures at times. Approaching life with confidence will help us when the pressure is on.
Defining Confidence
But what exactly is confidence? Let’s define it.
“Confidence is the belief that we have the internal resources to do the right thing or succeed regardless of the situation. Confidence is a feeling of certainty that we can accomplish a task or objective. Confidence gives us courage when we need it. Courage to succeed.”
Now there is a lot to this definition and it will take time to unpack it fully, but think about confidence as an inner strength that equips us to handle pressure. Confidence empowers us to make decisions.
Think back to my track analogy. Confidence came by focusing on what I could control- my jumping form, rather than bar height. Correct form meant success and confidence allowed me to maintain the focus to succeed.
Think about confidence and we’ll pick it back up in the next DIY blog.
Ernie